capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
not ubering you a puppy
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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