so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
