I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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