It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
