if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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