Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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