You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
