you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
