Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
