Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
