That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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