Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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