he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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