i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
