I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
