I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize