Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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