If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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