I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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