I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize