i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You are the jesus of drinking
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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