Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
