But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
