Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
