We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
