Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
