The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
