ya dads aren't the best wingmen
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this just has baby written all over it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
