What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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