And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
