Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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