She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
