Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
