In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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