you have to choose: penises or morals?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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