she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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