There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
