Dual....:-)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
