Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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