I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize