I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize