Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize