At least make sure they are 18
Why
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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