i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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