Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
