Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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