apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
