what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
