I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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