dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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