why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is my gift to your gina
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
