They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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