Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Your dad touched me again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
