party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
