Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
