White coat. Heels.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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