you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
