Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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