Your dad touched me again.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
