Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
