absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My nipple is on Facebook.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
