I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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