..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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