I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
