I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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