Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
